Monday, February 13, 2012

Be My Valentine

So, yesterday. There I was, planning another blog post in which I could express my tortured soul, (ha!), when Graham arrives home from work. I get up from the computer so I could cuddle and catch up with my husband, when he reminds me that the next day is Valentine's Day. 

"What would you like to do tomorrow for Valentine's Day?" he asks. I look at him in confusion.

"Weren't you going to organise something and surprise me?" I say. "I thought we'd agreed you would plan Valentine's Day this year."

"Well, yes," Graham says sheepishly. "I was going to take you to that expensive restaurant you like at Hillarys Boat Harbour, but... I sort of can't afford it. Payday isn't until Wednesday, you know. Is there somewhere cheaper you would like to go instead?"

I start laughing. Now Graham looks confused. "What's so funny?" he asks.

"You do know Valentine's Day is the busiest day of the year for restaurants?" I giggled. "There's no way we could get a reservation anywhere the day before Valentine's Day."

Graham looks deflated, and still a bit confused as to why I am so amused. I couldn't find a way to express the reason to him. The reason was that it was just so typical of Graham. As I've written before, both of us have rudimentary organisational skills. Graham just doesn't grasp how to organise a romantic date. When said date involves choosing and reserving a table at a restaurant, it was almost certain he would forget to do so.

I could have gotten upset at my forgetful and scattered husband, but I simply found it funny. I can't blame him; I have frequently done just as badly in organising stuff. And, where once I would have been a little disappointed, taking this display as a sign that I wasn't special, I know by now that this is simply not the case.

Graham is a very loving husband. He constantly spoils me, sometimes in the most unexpected ways. But his method of showing his love doesn't revolve around remembering special occasions, but rather by making the ordinary days special. He might forget our anniversary, or when my birthday is, but he constantly thinks up special little gifts. I have to be careful what I admire at the shops, lest he go back later and buy it for me!

Graham has lavished all kinds of gifts on me. Whether its the latest book by my favourite author, a mouse for my computer, a tiny ladybug ornament, or a expansion to a favourite game, Graham has found unique gifts for me. He can never wait to give me them either. While I am still accustomed to buying a gift, hiding it, wrapping it, and waiting until a special day to give them, Graham is so eager to give them that you would think they were red hot! For Valentine's Day this year, Graham got me a chain with a single pearl suspended from it, to match a set of pearl earrings I wear often. But he couldn't keep it a secret once he had bought it, and insisted I unwrap it as soon as he saw me. So I got it four days early.

Graham has also got a gift for making ordinary days and activities special. Whether its a sing-along session on the freeway, a tv show marathon on the weekend, or shooting baddies from the back of a speeding dune buggy in a game, some of my favourite memories are of very ordinary days.

So, tonight will most probably end up with us ordering pizza, pouring ourselves glasses of bourbon and coke and co-operating together to destroy the evil aliens of the Ascendency as we protect a base with lasers and flamethrowers. And I am perfectly happy with that. Another day we can be romantic and go out for dinner. But there is no reason to be upset that instead of sitting in a crowded restaurant, we are relaxing in our home doing some of the hobbies we like best.

I truly appreciate Graham's way of showing love. Why would I be disappointed for not getting a wilting bunch of roses and a generic box of chocolates on one designated day, when I am spoilt so completely on every other day? Everyone else can keep their mass-produced expressions of love; I am happy with our quirky relationship.

Happy Valentine's Day Graham. I didn't get anything for you either - but I will gladly watch your back as we shoot our way through crazed mercenaries tonight. I'll use my trusty revolver if you bring the rocket launcher, and between headshots, I will let you know: I love you.


  1. Yes, this is what love's about: feeling loved and special on usual days. I had to learn to see it that way! I too get roses and presents during those normal days. Looking back, those are the precious moments, the real reminders you are loved and cherished by the one and only. Forget the boring offical days. Good post!

  2. When I was young, I thought Valentines Day was flowers, chocolates, possibly jewelry, and a romantic fancy evening out. Mark proposed to me on Valentines Day. There I was, getting up "prettied up" to see him that evening. Curlers in my hair. Cold cream and dressing gown... and he showed up, and he got on one knee and proposed. I had a baby. (another story) He took us both out.. no where fancy, but some place we wouldn't get looks for having a baby, and he could spoil us both. I can't even remember what we did.. I just remember the three of us being together. The following year, my baby was now a year and a half old. He got her her first chocolates. Every year since has been Mark spoiling us, his girls, (we had another girl together after we married). And spending time together. Visiting St Augustine, going to the mission, or staying here and cooking a nice meal and playing Monopoly. :) But like you.. it's all those other days of the year.. all those little things.. even my girls do it. My eldest daughter will absolutely spend her very last dollar on her baby sister. Putting a love note in hubbys lunchbox.. its those little things that are the best! :)